Best husband and wife relationship jokes

Funny yet clean marriage one-liners and jokes - Funny Jokes

best husband and wife relationship jokes

Some of the jokes are common with the marriage jokes, but it was Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. Relationship Jokes – Large collection of relationship jokes, love jokes, single jokes, A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. We have the best jokes about marriage and relationships. This is part 4 of our joke collection.

best husband and wife relationship jokes

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works! As they are talking one women notices that her friend has a 5 carat diamond ring, and says "My what a magnificent ring.

It comes with my husband! After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

  • Husbands and Wives Jokes for Valentines Day

But the law allows only one wife. One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby. Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

best husband and wife relationship jokes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Marriage One-liners and Jokes

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

You Laugh, You Lose - Richie vs. Monique (Couples Edition)

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. A True Story About Luke's Wife Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, my wife, new to boating was having a problem.

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't plane at high speed at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power she applied.

best husband and wife relationship jokes

After about an hour of trying to make it go, she walked over to the nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch.

best husband and wife relationship jokes

So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. Light Hearted Funny Marriage Notions Worth Remembering The matrimonial pollsters contend their studies indicate the man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn't do that thing.

Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus higher earners, it's believed. The heart is the most common symbol of romantic love. Ancient cultures believed the human soul lived in the heart.

Others thought it to be the source of emotion and intelligence. Some believed the heart embodied a man's truth, strength and nobility. The heart may be associated with love because the ancient Greeks believed it was the target of Eros, known as Cupid to the Romans. Anyone shot in the heart by one of Cupid's arrows would fall hopelessly in love. Because the heart is so closely linked to love, it's red colour is thought to be the most romantic.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up. Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done. Marriage is an institution where two people come together to joint solve the problems they never had before they got married. The alleged most commonly used words of endearment: I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her.

Funny Relationship Jokes and Marriage Stories

I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: Welcome to the family, my son! Always keep your condoms in your car! Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

Funny Relationship Jokes Collection | Laugh Factory

But it's not only the passion, Dad. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.