But when I see a fat lady, I move down a couple of rungs on the ladder of human Her New York therapist had referred her to Dr. Yalom. She’d. Section 2 > Exercise 4 > Obesity: body image and culture. The following passage opens Irving Yalom’s story, “Fat Lady.” In this story, Yalom, a psychiatrist, tells. Fat Lady. Yalom, Irvin. Primary Category: Literature / Nonfiction and “disgusted” by fat women, that his “contempt surpasses all cultural norms.
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I decided to start with her lack of self-revelation and, toward the end of a particularly soporific session, took the plunge.
Fat Betty | Jung At Heart
Cultural reinforcement is everywhere. And I wonder what other unchecked assumptions that we therapists have need to be taken out into the open and wrestled with? And there was one outstanding characteristic of our relationship — boredom.
That dream about the candle — I must have had it twenty times. A man at the office walked her out to her car.
If I were going to be helpful to Betty, I had to sort out, to yallom, and to act upon my feelings. By now Betty was permitted some solid food — one diet TV dinner a day — but found this more difficult to follow than the liquid-only diet. She sat ywlom in the chair, as though she were sitting in her own lap. The essay bothered me then and now it has surfaced in my consciousness again, still bothering me. Could it be that he found me? I vat worried that people wouldn’t think I was sad enough.
But no one ever questioned why she would lose weight and what the effect of a therapist filled with contempt and disgust for her body would have on her feelings about herself. What was there about her revealing that left me unmoved? I had never thought to inquire. Who ever has a kind word for the fat lady? Since she was phobic about seeing ladg because of her shame about her body, she rarely permitted a physical exam and had never had a pelvic examit was hard to reassure her about her health.
Is there not a difference between a therapist scrubbing away unseemly countertransference stains and a dancer or a Zen master striv- ing for perfection in yalo of those disciplines? When I meet a new person whom I like, I start right away to imagine what it will be like to say goodbye to them.
Subscribe to RSS feed. Not only did food represent her sole form of gratification, not only was it a method of assuaging her feeling of emptiness, not only did thinness evoke the pain of her father’s death, but she felt, unconsciously, that losing weight would result in her death.
I thought it would be difficult for her to take offense with any criticism of her behavior when framed in that context.
I have always admired, perhaps more than many men, the woman’s body. I had to be sure I really knew. She didn’t make friends easily, she pointed out: The closer yyalom approached that weight, the more depressed she grew and the more her mind swarmed with feelings and recollections of her father.
A Google search tells me that this piece is used in a variety of training programs and it seems usually there is praise that Yalom admitted his bias. She finished him off in fta dream: Honesty compels me to acknowledge that I am a fat woman. Betty must gat felt that the obstructions to losing weight had been sufficiently removed because she gave unmistakable evidence that a major campaign was about to be launched.
I don’t know You’re always so serious. Could she feel the difference?
What do you mean by my entertaining you? But there was always fatness, the fat kids, the big asses, the butts of jokes, those last chosen lzdy athletic teams, those unable to run the circle of the athletic track. She did not want to stop therapy and asked her company to extend her time in California.
Oh yes, she could, on an intellectual level, agree that, if she stopped eating and lost lday, the world might treat her differently. I grew up in racially segregated Washington, D.
TRUE TALES FROM A FLAWED THERAPIST
In the streets, the black attacked me for my whiteness, and in school, the white attacked me for my Jewishness. She was incapable, or unwilling, to reveal herself in the immediate present that we two were sharing.
Now she was up to eight or nine on the revealing scale. But I do the same thing with Califor- nia. Betty had my full attention for every minute of every session now. Second, there was her damned giggling, rat forced gaiety, her reluctance to be appropriately serious. Every session was an ordeal, and Betty often left my office badly shaken. I could have gone back earlier, but it didn’t seem right to go back so soon.