Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere () s01e01 Episode Script | SS
This week Lemon and co-star Paddy McGuinness aimed their particle and Lemon recreate the Ghostbusters “we're ready to believe you” commercial. of his iconic scenes – including the sequence in which he visits love interest .. Comment: The outrage over Louis CK's terrible school shooting jokes. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a British sitcom on Channel 4 starring and written by The lyrics are "Don't know where we're going, Got no way of knowing , Driving on the Road to The 'Row Row Row Your Boat' sequence on the bus is borrowed from Dirty Harry, and in the scene where The Wolfster writes his. Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere, sometimes referred simply as Max & Paddy, was a They crash the party and Max meets his old school pals. This involved holding up Little Chef employees to gun-point to make her open late for them.
Kay and McGuinness themselves sang it in the opening sequences of episodes 2 to 6. This leads to several arguments, especially when they realise the television doesn't have any speakers. The pair thus decide to go out to a nightclub to let off some steam and forget their troubles, but Max's uncoordinated dancing spoils the night and he ends up fighting with some sailors home on shore leave.
Paddy teaches him a few cool moves the following day, and they return to the club dressed as sailors in order to blend in.
Their new moves lure two local girls, Tracey and Louise, back to the campervanonly for one of them to steal Paddy's wallet. After discovering the girls, locally known as the ' Belgrano Sisters', are infamous for this, they get revenge by forcing them to steal some speakers for their television.
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This episode had 4. To kill time, Max and Paddy catch the train to Middlewoodwhich actually turns out to be the last one that day, so the pair are forced to go for a walk in the woods, but quickly become lost. After Max shows a bemused Paddy his notebook filled with childlike drawings of a television programme he's invented called "Magnet and Steel", the pair reluctantly decide to sleep rough in the woods.
Paddy quickly causes ill feeling by burning Max's book on their campfirebut Max soon comes around and begins talking, accompanied by a flashbackabout his one true love: He goes on to say that the relationship abruptly ended after she overheard him and his friends making jokes about her height.
The following morning, the two discover to their dismay that they were a short walk away from a Petrol Station and a Travelodge. Paddy's full name is revealed to be Patrick O'Shea. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by team-mates for his physical resemblance to Patrick McGuinness.
This episode had 3.
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Episode 3[ edit ] The pair go down to London, and immediately have a run-in with the traffic police. Later, Max spots in a local newspaper a 40th birthday message for his old school friend Kevin 'The Wolfster' Wolfson, who had moved to London some years before. Max and Paddy turn up unannounced at his birthday party and surprise 'The Wolfster', as well as several other old faces from home present for the party.
Things turn sad though when Tina played by Lisa HammondMax's one true love mentioned in the previous episode, turns up. Max awkwardly talks to her, and things get worse when he realises that she is actually married to, and has a child with, The Wolfster. However, the child, a year-old boy called Daniel, is actually Max's son.
Tina warns Max to stay away and not blow the secret, but the following morning he ropes Paddy in and the pair steal what they think is a school bus with young Daniel aboard. They've got the wrong bus however, and are soon accosted by the police and sent directly to prison. Episode 4[ edit ] The pair are now in prison together after the school bus incident. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a tennis-playing Cliff Richard impersonator who actually believes he is Cliff.
After an uncomfortable first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' in the shower room. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard played by Everal Walshwho is also Pepe's boyfriend.
Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds! Raymond has heard about the pair's alleged big-money heists and robberies, and wants a cut of their money.
Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere - Wikipedia
Soon, their old Phoenix Club boss Brian Potter played by Kay unexpectedly comes to visit, along with a cake, announcing that he's organising several events to help speed up their release. Whilst in the wood, Patrick reveals his full name whilst Max reveals some of his own secrets. The first secret was of his sketches of a dream TV series that he called " Magnet and Steel ".
He also reveals that he once had a one true love by the name of Tina. It comes to a close when the two of them manage to return to the garage. This calls for them to take drastic action. Episode Three Edit The pair arrive in London where Max finds that his old school friend Kevin Wolfstonknown as the Wolfster, is holding a 40th birthday party. They crash the party and Max meets his old school pals.
Unfortunately, he meets his old flame Tina, who is then finds out is married to the Wolfster.
Their 10 year old son, Danielis secretly revealed to be Max's but Max promises never to interfere in his life and to keep the secret. Things go from bad to worse when Max steals a school bus with Daniel on-board. Little does he realise at first that he has actually stolen the wrong bus and it isn't long before the police come after him.
Episode Four Edit After being arrested for the school bus robbery, the two of them are in jail. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a Cliff Richard impersonator and tennis enthusiast.
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Paddy's fear of getting "bummed" in the showers come close to true when he drops the soap in the shower. After an altercation with fellow prisoner Pepethe pair of them meet Raymond the Bastard. Raymond reasons with them after hearing about their "heists" and "raids".
Not long after, Brian Potter pays a visit and thanks to a news article regarding the Phoenix Club, the inmates find out that Max and Paddy are just "bouncers". This starts a fight between Raymond and Max and Paddy but before they get beaten up, Max and Paddy are taken by the wardens and are told that their sentences were reduced to community service after Tina explains that what happened was done due to stress after the whole Daniel incident.
The two of them get their own back on Brian by claiming there is an outbreak of Anthrax in the club, leading to the club and its staff to be subjected to nude sterilisation.
Episode Five Edit After knocking down a cow in the countryside, Max and Paddy approach who they believe to be the farmer and ask for compensation.