The X Factor's back, so kiss goodbye to your life | Television & radio | The Guardian
on Pinterest. | See more ideas about Louis walsh, Britain got talent and Dublin. Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Louis Walsh and new judge Mel B. Hari Khadka. Aug 23, Simon Cowell has spilled the beans about Louis (Image: PA) Simon Cowell claims Louis Walsh calls him every weekend at 2am "screaming". Aug 18, Louis Walsh, Tulisa Contostavlos, Kelly Rowland and Gary Barlow at the No longer will Simon Cowell swish around in a shirt undone to his pubis. try to make The Guardian sustainable by deepening our relationship with.
If only that were true.
In reality Barlow is the biggest letdown of the new judges and, frankly, he must be stopped. Cartoon rudeness was Cowell's raison d'etre. He was part Blofeld and part Widow Twankey, and that's why he was so successful. There's none of this playfulness with Gary Barlow; just a big black cloud determined to suck all the joy out of the room.
He exists purely to bludgeon fun to death with the blunt force of his conservatism.
Simon Cowell throws major shade at Louis Walsh in tonight's X Factor
When one act — Walsh's new Wagner figure — is voted through to bootcamp, Barlow looks both confused and appalled. When Tulisa and Louis have a brief conversation about socks, Barlow butts in with a disdainful "Let's get serious here, guys".
Cowell once let a preposterous group called Diva Fever sing a version of Duck Sauce's Barbara Streisand with most of the lyrics changed to "Louis Walsh".
Barlow wouldn't do that in a million years. With him, it'll be turgid piano ballads all the way to Christmas. You'll die of boredom by November.
Apart from the new judges, it's basically business as usual.
X Factor's Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh: How the 'pals for life' met - exclusive - Mirror Online
The intimidating crowd shots are still there. The contestants are just as wildly obnoxious as ever. Dermot O'Leary continues to dress like a weird approximation of a s Action Man.
X Factor is back. You may as well kiss goodbye to your life now.
'We'll always be friends' Simon Cowell hints he HAS sacked Louis Walsh from X Factor
I remember shaking his hand and thinking 'You have a very wet hand. When we were in meetings in real life, no matter how serious, he would always make me laugh. Even in the most uncomfortable situations he would crack me up. I thought working with him on the show would be hysterical.
The 50 Faces of Louis Walsh
He is one of the funniest people in the whole world. Deep down beyond work, he will be one of my best friends for ever. So I went up to him and said 'You never took my calls, if you had Boyzone you could have sold a million records'. He just sat there calmly smoking a cigarette and said 'Don't worry darling, we'll work together soon'. Months later we set up this thing in a Dublin hotel and Westlife sang for him.
He rubbished them and said we needed to change four of them. He said they had no star quality. But I only changed three and he didn't notice and signed them anyway. I always said Shane had talent and later on Simon said he liked him and I told him 'That's Shane who you told me to get rid of. We fight about who's gonna get the funniest lines and have the best fun backstage.